THE BACHELOR RECAP
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After my little story sound-off the other day, I started getting lots of comments! Let me just say - women that watch the bachelor are very protective of their show! Everyone was sweet and funny about it, but y’all are all about your Monday night addiction!
I have to admit…I did watch the first few seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. I haven't regularly tuned in since Trista gave Ryan a rose…which I realize most of the current audience can’t recall. Because they were still drinking out of sippy cups.
Through the years, I was often told “You should apply to be on there, you would be so great!” One sleepless night in my single years, while laying awake worrying about how long my ovaries were going to keep working, I even went so far as to read up on what is involved in applying. Then I realized that having an emotional breakdown on national television was not going to be something I could easily bounce back from…and I figured I would just keep on dating the old fashioned way.
I did a little research to see how successful these shows have been at helping people find lifelong love. Almost every list of marriages also includes couples that have met and married through “The Bachelor Family” and various spin-offs, but I wanted to know the real numbers. I was looking for show stars that actually ended up marrying the person they gave their final rose. Guys….it’s not too good. From 23 seasons of The Bachelor, only ONE couple has married. 14 seasons of The Bachelorette has produced THREE marriages. A combined 37 seasons of television and their formula has only produced results FOUR times! WHATTTTTTTTT??????
When you look at these numbers in relation to the ratings of these shows (again, not even thinking about the various spin-offs) one can draw some very interesting conclusions. Either the American public is full of a bunch of optimists that hope the next season will allow us see someone’s fairy tale play out <insert eye-roll here> Or…we are a society that is thrilled by the chase, chaos and drama and someone finding lasting love has very little to do with our interest in the show. In fact, I would go as far as to say that some viewers even hope for the heartbreak of certain contestants.
I know that all contestants are consenting adults that have agreed to put themselves in this precarious situation, and that they are honestly asking for it. But what happens when real people observe these behaviors and they start to carry over into the real world?
I’ll tell you what happens…we have the phenomenon known as “undating”. The current generation of young single people are so hesitant to make any kind of commitment or show any vulnerability to a potential partner. The common trend is living in an ongoing purgatory-like stage of a relationship. No one speaks of exclusivity, and don't even think about marriage. We’re just going to give ourselves emotionally (and often physically) to one another without any true investment.
Calm down…I think this is fueled by online dating apps as well…so I’m not placing all the blame on your special show.
We live in a world that has preyed on the part of the human psyche that tells us “the grass is always greener”.
You’re dating the perfect man/woman? Don't delete that dating app…because someone better might be your next swipe!
Have someone in your life that makes you laugh and smile? Better keep on texting your ex…because you never know when they will fix the 9324 things that made you dump them in the first place.
Go on a great date? Better make sure you don't seem too eager! Whatever you do…don't communicate adequately. It’s actually best if you can lead them to believe you are dead.
THIS IS WHY I WAS A CRAZY WOMAN WHEN I WAS SINGLE!
Imagine the regular stresses and responsibilities of your daily life. Then add to it trying to navigate the mental minefields of dating! Check on your single friends...THEY ARE NOT OK!
I watch some junk television myself and I don’t think taking The Bachelor off the air will make the problems of this world go away. However, I do think that we all have to be conscientious of what we’re putting into our minds and the imprint that these things can leave.
Bottom line...treat others the way you want to be treated. No one is disposable and playing with someone’s emotions is cruel. In the infamous words of Big Sean “The grass is always greener where you water it” (Yep, just quoted a Justin Beiber song). Mic Drop.
