The day it all changed… — The Wilder Nieuwland

As I was thinking back about this day last year, I decided I wanted to share my birth story. I really never knew how strong I was until that day! It’s amazing what the female body is designed to do and I don't want to forget the details of that amazing day.

I went into early labor on January 9th, at 35 weeks. After 24 hours in the hospital, two steroid shots, multiple bags of fluids and countless trips to the bathroom...the labor finally stopped and I was sent home. Because I was 3 cm dilated and 100% effaced, I was but on on bed rest. We really needed Xander to stay put for at least another week so his lungs would be stronger!

Bedrest was frustrating, but I was happy at the end of each day. Knowing the baby was safe and still growing made it worth it.

I saw my doctor on Thursday the 25th, and she told me she was going out of town for the weekend. I jokingly told her, that he would most certainly be coming on Saturday. Little did I know that my prediction would come true!

The evening of Friday the 26th, I had been having back pain for a few hours and we decided to go to the hospital just in case. I was monitored for a short time and sent home. They thought it was another false alarm! We left and went to my parents’ house, because it was much closer to the hospital. The next 16 or 17 hours (many of which were spent in the bathtub) I was having contractions, but they were irregular and too far apart. We still didn’t think it was time to go back to the hospital. At about 8:00 that night, something changed! The contractions went from intermittent but pretty manageable, to constant and excruciating! We left right away, we knew a baby would be here soon!

It was about 9:30 when I was in a hospital room and the nurse checked me. I didn’t believe her when she announced that I was dilated to 7cm! The next few minutes were such a blur, as they prepared me and the operating room for a c section. Because Xander was a large baby, and turned “sunny side up” a c-section had always been my choice for his delivery.

At 10:08, Alexander Edward Nieuwland made his grand entrance! He was 8 pounds 2 ounces and 20 inches long. Those first cries were the most precious sound I had ever heard. Alex brought him over to me and in that moment we were truly a family. Our whole world view shifted in seconds, and the only thing that mattered to us was that sweet, red-faced baby boy. I’ve never known love at first sight until then!

The last year has taken my heart, mind and body on a journey that I could have never imagined! Even though you would gladly do it again, a birth still brings about an overwhelming life change.

I said to Alex once - in a fit of drama and exhaustion - “a new mother dies 100 deaths!” As much as you love it and are so grateful for the change, there is certainly a little bit of grief mixed in. Your body is so different, your daily routine becomes chaos, you can’t go anywhere without packing, estimating food/bottles needed, anticipating if the stroller is necessary, and most of all...where will he nap? Even a quick trip into the grocery store requires more pre-planning than an entire day spent alone!

But when I look at that precious little boy...there isn’t anything on this Earth that I wouldn’t give up for him. I don't know that I would have ever felt whole without him. He is a catalyst for me. The stone in the stream that the waters of our life now flow around. I see how much he has changed on the outside over the last year and I think I have changed that much on the inside. I’ve never felt more unlike myself...but I’ve also never felt more like myself. I will forever be grateful to him for that. My tiny love.

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The Wilder Nieuwland