January 23, 2019

I want to start this post by saying…we are ok! Naturally, we are sad and still a bit in shock. However, we are at peace with this and have great hope for our future! Like the old song goes - The God on the mountain is still God in the valley!

Last Wednesday (1/16) we went in for an ultrasound and realized that there were some growth issues with our baby (you can read all about that here). Our follow-up ultrasound was scheduled for yesterday afternoon. We knew that miscarriage was a possibility, and in some ways Alex and I both had been mentally preparing ourselves for that this past week.

Yesterday, the ultrasound showed us that, while there was a little bit of growth, there was no longer a heartbeat, and the baby had no blood flow.

This was such a sad moment for us, but we are so thankful for our friend and doctor - Dr. Alison Sullivan (if you’re looking for an OB-GYN go see her!). She was wonderful in helping us try to understand a bit about what happened, and also helping us to choose our next steps. Last night, I was admitted to Holston Valley, where I has a fast and painless minor surgery, commonly known as a D&C. Today, I am home taking it easy, but will be back up and moving soon.

Most likely, our baby had a chromosomal abnormality, which is a common cause of early, first trimester miscarriages. There is no reason for us to believe that this is anything other that an isolated event. That is the silver lining in this situation, we can start trying for another child as soon as we are ready!

We are glad that we decided to openly share this pregnancy when we did…and we are grateful to share this part of our journey as well. Statistics show that up to 25% of pregnancies result in miscarriage. If this is something you have experienced, or may experience in the future, you are not alone!

When we decided to announce our pregnancy, we did so knowing that we had a fairly significant chance of losing this child. We felt it was important to tell our news and our truth, regardless of the outcome. If we had not let anyone know about this child (and subsequent miscarriage) the pain would still be here. I actually think it would be more difficult to go through this if we felt it was a secret. Please don’t hesitate to talk to me about this! The last thing I want is for this to be the proverbial “Elephant in the room”. I am an open book, and part of my healing process is talking!

We are thankful for all the prayers, support, inspiring and loving texts, emails and phone calls we have had. Our “village” is strong and wonderful and we love you all. All of your prayers have been appreciated and felt. We humbly ask you to continue to remember us in the coming days as we move forward.

While I was in the hospital preparing myself mentally and emotionally for a medically necessary “abortion”, there were people in New York celebrating the legalization of full-term abortion. So I would also like to ask each of you to pray for our leaders and our Nation.

Oh….and please hug all your babies extra tight today!